Friday, 7 August 2015

Garam Masala

Let me introduce another protagonist to my blog : CHUSSU.  

Chussu : Shy guy from college. Grew up in boys group. Less interaction with girls till college. May be apprehensive in approach. But deep inside there was a playboy who was longing for a woman's touch. Always coddles "UNKILL" (protagonist from previous post) as his role model. And he should believe like that. Becoz unkill has that knack which could dazzle any girl. Guy from small town with big dreams. Lazy at work but always impatient. Probably the biggest C.I.D. (crime daily soap with maximum episodes in Indian television history ) fan alive.  Sucks internet data at a lightening fast speed. Its like he is vampire and internet data is his blood.

Soon I will narrate you in  my later version,  how this guy made tremendous progress in his life and what happened in Vegas sorry Goa... How he met tharkie And his moments with his new partner in bed : once again sadda Tharkie (protagonist from previous post). Sudden drastic change in chussu'slife, When the lads were scrubbing the lines of their palms by watching Sunny Leone's video, this chap was busy in texting and grating the tips of fingers.

Parda uthega, chussu fasega, Tharkie maje lega... Or hamara kya hai... Hamara kya hai We will also enjoy when i will reveal what went wrong in whose life. 

Signing off for today. Till then, have a good day.

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Small Interesting World !!! - Part 2


continued...

Till now i have discussed only one friend of mine and still two enthralling characters are left. Let me brief about them as well. 2nd one is Pundit(aka Despo) and 3rd one Tharkie. Often they are addressed as Jai-Veeru pair.  They did their graduation together. Both are incomplete without each other.

Despo : He was like "Jahan dekhi Naari, wahan aankh maari". Always keep proposal on his tongue like we keep visiting cards in our wallet. Already made a pass at girls during college time. There were girls whom he approached more than once. Shares his "Mann ki Baat" with his other half i.e. Tharkie.. Personality who has sound relationship with seniors/professors/managers. Very disciplined and follows his routine better than machine

Tharkie : He is the another cool guy in town. Couldn't stop himself & start dancing even on ringtones if someone pushes him a bit. His feet are quite irresistible to music beats and same way his thoughts or imaginations are unstoppable after looking a girl. Its like... " dil me tujhe bitha ke,kar lunga mein bandh aankhen or uske baad iska kaam shuru ho jata hai. Quite <geek/>. Thinks a lot before investing anything. Makes thing complex and too much concerned about health as if he is the only one who is going to be affected if any mishap happened to people on earth. You can find all kind of preventing meausres, syrups, tablets, protection kit, pills etc. Believes that his life could be in danger if he travels more than 100 km over bike but t accident might take place within 1 km. Very weird logic.There are other weird logics as well and everything is related to #Paisa in the end. 

So, why i kept the title of my post as " Small interesting world" is going to reveal now. One fine day,
unkil came back from office, Tharkie was having healthy diet less on carbs and oil. Unkill just entered and vomit out the thing he discussed over call  at noon. Its about his marriage proposal. And asked whether he knew about this girl. Unkill didn't recognize the girl by name when her mother told him that she did engineering along with him from same college, same batch, same stream. Poor mama's bouyy.. By the way all the protagonist in this version are from "Baniya" caste. And unkill parents are desperately looking for "Maaldaar" party. For which they have published their son's name in matrimonial newspaper of their caste. And they got call from this girl's dad. Unkill haven't noticed this girl during college time becoz he was busy playing the role of "Kandha" for other beauties of college. So he wasn't sure about this girl geography.

He(UnkilL) once asked again to tharkie whether he knows that girl. Tharkie had already went to nostalgia of college day after listening the name. And sudden coarse voice of our uncle brought him back to real time. And he started shouting my name. I was busy with my office work. I didn't want to go downstairs but i got a feeling that matter is captivating and i should go... so next minute i was lying on sofa. Tharkie told me that Unkil is asking about this girl.. I said ohkk... whats the matter we both knew this girl. Then he said " unkill ka rishta hai uske ghar se" And we were like "oh shit" how on earth that her parents found unkill.

She was the same girl whom our close friend Despo used to make a pass during college days. Was rejected twice by her. We used to tease him a lot with her name. she was the first rejection of Despo, and with that he didn't stop. After all life is all about next step. In the next semester he gave her time to like him & again made a unsuccessful attempt and then move to other blooming flower of college.
That first crush of Despo is about to fall in Unkill's bucket .And despo was unaware of this. We intimated unkill if he said yes to girl then "Despo se bura koi nhi hoga". Despo would make your life miserable. Unkill understood the situation but his earn to see this girl increases more now. Its becoz we told him that not only Despo but two other boys proposed the same girl during college days.. So uncle thought she must be a beauty and how she went unnoticed by him.

He went upstairs and quickly searched for that girl over facebook and then we both me and Tharkie looked uncle face and started laughing like never. Unkill was like how guys could run after this girl. She is  dusky, ugly, fiftiest shade of charcoal, dark knight rises, shadow, bla bla bla...few vulgar jargon for us for cooking this girl a hottie in his imagination and Lastly said I am ready to sacrifice this girl for my heartiest friend Despo. Immediately called her mother and instructed to first filter out the girl then only send their profile to him.

That was the small weird and interesting version of one night. And our every night is full of such storylines. :P :) Thanks for reading.





Sunday, 26 July 2015

Small but interesting world !!!

It's been more than two years... since we graduated and entered into IT industry. Moving to and fro between office and home in order to get better life and amidst all ignoring the true meaning of life for which we are working so hard night and day.

How our world is so small yet interesting, you will get to know after going through this version. One fine day, actually its night,  my room-mate (UNKILL) came from office and asked Tharki (My housemate) who was having dinner at that tym, that whether he knows a girl known as "Kamini" (name changed). Before i proceed i should give you brief description of Unkill, Tharki & Despo.

Unikll - World famous as "UNCLE"... He always leaves a deep impression of his dynamic personality in the hearts of listeners... King of very novel and horrendous laugh... Watched games of thrones twice bcoz on first go he went clueless on whats happening in that. Ask him any question and be ready to receive weird answer in reply. Just poke him and ready to listen all sorts of stuff happening in his life. Working as "QA" and looking for a perfect bride. Always in hurry and keep on setting targets so that he can push himself a bit more & move out of middle class society in terms of wealth and customs. But what about personality and moral grounds ???

                                                                                                              ...  to be continued  ....

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Airtel Website - Worst Website Ever...

It was a fine day so far. Have prepared myself for coming Monday. Before going to bad i thought to pay by bills and that was surely a mood destroyer decision at that time. I got so annoyed that i wiped out slumberness and started writing about it.

I went to airtel website. It opened up quickly without any delay as i am having a very high speed internet connection. I am a postpaid user. So logged in with my user id. I entered my credentials and move ahead. I was ready to pay my bill. And i got below after successful login.




I was like what kind of webpage is this...generally everyone expects lots of information on very first page.. but just then few more info appears on this page.. like below



I saw two button for viewing and paying the bill. I thought it may take some more time to populate the bill amount also and waited for few minutes... simultaneously wondering that why this page is loading up very slowly at 2 a.m in the morning. My internet speed is good... can download any video of size 1 gb in few minutes but this page is taking time in loading up. How many people would be accessing this site at this point of time. Waited -and waited but nothing like that shown up.

So, with some doubts clicked on view bill. And i got below screen with a messge like "Find here one of the fastest and most convenient ways to pay your bills online. "  I was like dude i don't know how much I need to pay and I am too tired to check my email for the bill which is also password protected which is of no use. And its saying unable to process your request like always. 



Now i was irritated by this stuff i went ahead by again going back to home page and this time i chose pay bill hoping that may be there i would get to know the bill amount. And holy shit, this site is so fucked up that they shown me my saved card details but nothing abt the bill amt. I was like how a big network like Airtel have such a crap website for payment.


Buy this time I got an idea that this website don't have any data... so i started checking there other links. And yes they having nothing to show. I went ahead to check my payment history and i got below screen. 




And i was like... i  knew this... i got its behavior correctly. Many thoughts came to my minds at that time like not to pay my bill and wait for the the time to call me for paying my bills , or call their customer support and rebuke them like anything but then i realized that wrong that support people have done its their IT team who cooked this bitter website. I thought to change my network asap. And ended up with this blog. Later on i found same kind of anger among people on consumers complaint forums. And till now these morons haven't taken any step to improve the customer experience.

Thanks for reading my pathetic experience with airtel website...