Garam Masala continued...

                             Like everyone there is a time in everyone's life when adulthood is at peak. You are incapable of hiding your stuffs in public. And same time came in chusssu's life as well. Chussu got good job in IT company. So next is what. He had everything except one and that is killing him from inside. He was desperate in his approach. He even created an account over Tinder. But nothing happened. Because still he was roaming aroud with #Saands. No #Gaay to share his feelings.

                             Finally Chussu's destiny brought him to Bangalore for a project. Perfect place for him to open his wings. His Help or role model #Unkill is already fighting for bread in the same city. Chussu got to know that unkill is planning for new Bike which is going to be a master stroke in impressing girls. A #Chickmagnet. Chussu didn't know how to ride a bike at that time. But in his deperation he played his move before unkill and bought new beast for himself.  In his new project he had already made fraaandship with few girls by taking counselling from #GOOGLE. So now chussu was having #PAISA & #GAADI. He just wanted a #GAAY. BUt destiny has different plans. A #Bakri was waiting for him in GOA.

                              Before we go to GOA along with chussu, let me introduced to you #Tharkie. :P :P  (Same guy from "Small Interesting World !!! - Part 2").  He switched to new company which is operating from Bangalore as well. His conversation revolved around love, sex and girl when his flights lands to IT hub. So now we have Old Monk Unkill, Black Dog Chussu & Vat69 Tharkie in same city. We took a big step and planned to stay together and took an independent duplex house for upcoming mischiefs. Tharkie, the extreme case of Satyr, Bong from Calcutta started sharing bed with Chussu. And in this process Tales of chussu became the source of inspiration for him.  

Chakravyuh in HSR Layout And they call it as Open Street

Since the day I came here to Bangalore, I knew the people here are a completely weird, quite miser and foolishly patriotic about their dialects and regions. But every day it finds a new way to amuse me. I haven’t imagined existing of such culture. These people don't have any sense of celebrating any festivals, standard of living, lacks delicious cuisines but they do talk about their culture and support their teams and hero with immense passion. And I just love to mock them on their red faces having helplessness.

        This IT city is completely dependent on the large crowd from outside south india. Its we people who can afford high rate BMTC volvo becoz V cannot travel along with sweaty scums in air tight filled non-ac buses making them profitable transport corporation in the country, pay high house/flat rents becoz we can not live in close boxes called PG where shit are being served on the name of north Indian dishes etc. When you are looking for a house on rent, landlords will raise eyebrows, turn up their noses when you tell them that you are bachelors or spinster but never hesitate in asking hefty money and on top of that expectations is like only 2 people should stay in 2BHK.

       Today's version is another stupendous act by people of HSR. And yes it is going to be memorable day of my life. I woke up early in the morning as per my standards, i.e. 10 am on weekends and freshened up. I asked Tharkie to get ready and finished my glass of milk by that tym. Today is day for my BIKE. Yes I planned to buy SUZUKI GIXXER SF. We took bumblebee ( Pulsor RS 200) out on HSR roads and figured out that children are playing cricket on 5th main, but we ignored the fact and moved ahead and then one policeman asked us to return as the roads are blocked today. We didn't get why does so ? So I jumped off from the bike and asked another policeman to which he replied that he is also new to this place and is not sure of why he is here. And then there came one aged local native bastard in between and started instigating other policeman  saying that, these people knows everything and acting as naive. He said its there in newspaper and news channels everywhere and u don't know whats happening in HSR. Me and Tharkie was like completely blank. What nonsense did this grumpy old man say. At that time, i really wanted to push that guy to ground & slap him and make him bleed. But controlled my emotions as he was elder to me and old too. We were cluelessly thinking why this main road is blocked. May be some marathon kind of stuff is planned on this route for which they might have broadcasted the plan in air in Kannada news channels. And as we don't know this language so we are unaware of this piece of information. So started finding alternate routes and figured out road blocks are every where. Everywhere same response from police. So we parked our bike aside and went to one fellow standing in security and enquired whether #ModiJi is paying visit today in HSR. Why there is so much drama. Then he removed the clouds over the mystery that today great people of HSR Layout has asked for vehicle-free zone. There  is an intiative of  OPEN STREETS in HSR.

Open Streets: What does it mean?

             Open Streets is an initiative to temporarily close streets to vehicular traffic so as to encourage citizens to walk, cycle, and use the streets for recreation. It has its roots in Ciclovía, where citizens of Bogota in Colombia blocked cars from a few streets in favour of runners, skaters and cyclists, on Sundays and public holidays. The Open Streets movement gathered momentum in the 2010s in the US and Canada, with several cities adopting vehicle-free days on certain streets.

              In India, Gurgaon has had its own version of Ciclovía called Raahgiri Day - every Sunday, a network of roads is closed temporarily to cars and opened for people. But here in HSR, Son of Rascals have requested  the government to block the complete HSR with no passage left for people with vehicle. Like a SQUARED PLANNING police was protecting all the posts and we became Arjun and Abhimanyu to get the passage through them. Its like curfew. Police vans are using loudspeaker to warn us and demanding us to move back at few places. As my bike is waiting for me, we have to done this. So we started wandering from one blocked street to another blocked street in order to find any loop hole or a polite and kind policeman. Finally we got success, we escaped to ORR, we compared the deals in two three showrooms, booked it in BTM and gave them token money with an assurance of delivery by Friday. Hence half and important work is done. 

                Now the new task was to get back into HSR along with bumblebee. We can’t left bumble bee anywhere like orpan when his owner is almost 3000 km  away in Ladakh. So we once again start searching for a place for successful intrusion. Everyone was abusing the administration for such a pathetic planned event. All the vehicle owners are cursing the system, that atleast few streets can be spared for easy movement. We have to bang our head from one street to another in search of flaw of service. And at one place we got kind hearted policeman, we requested him that we will drag the bumblebee till our house. And that’s how we figured out the way to our home.

It’s completely ridiculous, completely insane. Who organizes event like this creating chaos everywhere ? It can happen only in this city. So guys only I know how I broke the “Chakravyuh” twice in a day. Booking  my bike completely frazzled me. But yes in the end there was a satisfaction that the foundation stone for my bike has been laid. On a funny side, It like “Humne Gaadi kya li, mohalla me chakka Jaam ho gya” :P

Garam Masala

Let me introduce another protagonist to my blog : CHUSSU.  

Chussu : Shy guy from college. Grew up in boys group. Less interaction with girls till college. May be apprehensive in approach. But deep inside there was a playboy who was longing for a woman's touch. Always coddles "UNKILL" (protagonist from previous post) as his role model. And he should believe like that. Becoz unkill has that knack which could dazzle any girl. Guy from small town with big dreams. Lazy at work but always impatient. Probably the biggest C.I.D. (crime daily soap with maximum episodes in Indian television history ) fan alive.  Sucks internet data at a lightening fast speed. Its like he is vampire and internet data is his blood.

Soon I will narrate you in  my later version,  how this guy made tremendous progress in his life and what happened in Vegas sorry Goa... How he met tharkie And his moments with his new partner in bed : once again sadda Tharkie (protagonist from previous post). Sudden drastic change in chussu'slife, When the lads were scrubbing the lines of their palms by watching Sunny Leone's video, this chap was busy in texting and grating the tips of fingers.

Parda uthega, chussu fasega, Tharkie maje lega... Or hamara kya hai... Hamara kya hai We will also enjoy when i will reveal what went wrong in whose life. 

Signing off for today. Till then, have a good day.

Small Interesting World !!! - Part 2

continued...

Till now i have discussed only one friend of mine and still two enthralling characters are left. Let me brief about them as well. 2nd one is Pundit(aka Despo) and 3rd one Tharkie. Often they are addressed as Jai-Veeru pair.  They did their graduation together. Both are incomplete without each other.

Despo : He was like "Jahan dekhi Naari, wahan aankh maari". Always keep proposal on his tongue like we keep visiting cards in our wallet. Already made a pass at girls during college time. There were girls whom he approached more than once. Shares his "Mann ki Baat" with his other half i.e. Tharkie.. Personality who has sound relationship with seniors/professors/managers. Very disciplined and follows his routine better than machine

Tharkie : He is the another cool guy in town. Couldn't stop himself & start dancing even on ringtones if someone pushes him a bit. His feet are quite irresistible to music beats and same way his thoughts or imaginations are unstoppable after looking a girl. Its like... " dil me tujhe bitha ke,kar lunga mein bandh aankhen or uske baad iska kaam shuru ho jata hai. Quite <geek/>. Thinks a lot before investing anything. Makes thing complex and too much concerned about health as if he is the only one who is going to be affected if any mishap happened to people on earth. You can find all kind of preventing meausres, syrups, tablets, protection kit, pills etc. Believes that his life could be in danger if he travels more than 100 km over bike but t accident might take place within 1 km. Very weird logic.There are other weird logics as well and everything is related to #Paisa in the end. 

So, why i kept the title of my post as " Small interesting world" is going to reveal now. One fine day,
unkil came back from office, Tharkie was having healthy diet less on carbs and oil. Unkill just entered and vomit out the thing he discussed over call  at noon. Its about his marriage proposal. And asked whether he knew about this girl. Unkill didn't recognize the girl by name when her mother told him that she did engineering along with him from same college, same batch, same stream. Poor mama's bouyy.. By the way all the protagonist in this version are from "Baniya" caste. And unkill parents are desperately looking for "Maaldaar" party. For which they have published their son's name in matrimonial newspaper of their caste. And they got call from this girl's dad. Unkill haven't noticed this girl during college time becoz he was busy playing the role of "Kandha" for other beauties of college. So he wasn't sure about this girl geography.

He(UnkilL) once asked again to tharkie whether he knows that girl. Tharkie had already went to nostalgia of college day after listening the name. And sudden coarse voice of our uncle brought him back to real time. And he started shouting my name. I was busy with my office work. I didn't want to go downstairs but i got a feeling that matter is captivating and i should go... so next minute i was lying on sofa. Tharkie told me that Unkil is asking about this girl.. I said ohkk... whats the matter we both knew this girl. Then he said " unkill ka rishta hai uske ghar se" And we were like "oh shit" how on earth that her parents found unkill.

She was the same girl whom our close friend Despo used to make a pass during college days. Was rejected twice by her. We used to tease him a lot with her name. she was the first rejection of Despo, and with that he didn't stop. After all life is all about next step. In the next semester he gave her time to like him & again made a unsuccessful attempt and then move to other blooming flower of college.
That first crush of Despo is about to fall in Unkill's bucket .And despo was unaware of this. We intimated unkill if he said yes to girl then "Despo se bura koi nhi hoga". Despo would make your life miserable. Unkill understood the situation but his earn to see this girl increases more now. Its becoz we told him that not only Despo but two other boys proposed the same girl during college days.. So uncle thought she must be a beauty and how she went unnoticed by him.

He went upstairs and quickly searched for that girl over facebook and then we both me and Tharkie looked uncle face and started laughing like never. Unkill was like how guys could run after this girl. She is  dusky, ugly, fiftiest shade of charcoal, dark knight rises, shadow, bla bla bla...few vulgar jargon for us for cooking this girl a hottie in his imagination and Lastly said I am ready to sacrifice this girl for my heartiest friend Despo. Immediately called her mother and instructed to first filter out the girl then only send their profile to him.

That was the small weird and interesting version of one night. And our every night is full of such storylines. :P :) Thanks for reading.

Small but interesting world !!!

It's been more than two years... since we graduated and entered into IT industry. Moving to and fro between office and home in order to get better life and amidst all ignoring the true meaning of life for which we are working so hard night and day.

How our world is so small yet interesting, you will get to know after going through this version. One fine day, actually its night,  my room-mate (UNKILL) came from office and asked Tharki (My housemate) who was having dinner at that tym, that whether he knows a girl known as "Kamini" (name changed). Before i proceed i should give you brief description of Unkill, Tharki & Despo.

Unikll - World famous as "UNCLE"... He always leaves a deep impression of his dynamic personality in the hearts of listeners... King of very novel and horrendous laugh... Watched games of thrones twice bcoz on first go he went clueless on whats happening in that. Ask him any question and be ready to receive weird answer in reply. Just poke him and ready to listen all sorts of stuff happening in his life. Working as "QA" and looking for a perfect bride. Always in hurry and keep on setting targets so that he can push himself a bit more & move out of middle class society in terms of wealth and customs. But what about personality and moral grounds ???

                                                                                                              ...  to be continued  ....

Airtel Website - Worst Website Ever...

It was a fine day so far. Have prepared myself for coming Monday. Before going to bad i thought to pay by bills and that was surely a mood destroyer decision at that time. I got so annoyed that i wiped out slumberness and started writing about it.

I went to airtel website. It opened up quickly without any delay as i am having a very high speed internet connection. I am a postpaid user. So logged in with my user id. I entered my credentials and move ahead. I was ready to pay my bill. And i got below after successful login.

I was like what kind of webpage is this...generally everyone expects lots of information on very first page.. but just then few more info appears on this page.. like below

I saw two button for viewing and paying the bill. I thought it may take some more time to populate the bill amount also and waited for few minutes... simultaneously wondering that why this page is loading up very slowly at 2 a.m in the morning. My internet speed is good... can download any video of size 1 gb in few minutes but this page is taking time in loading up. How many people would be accessing this site at this point of time. Waited -and waited but nothing like that shown up.

So, with some doubts clicked on view bill. And i got below screen with a messge like "Find here one of the fastest and most convenient ways to pay your bills online. "  I was like dude i don't know how much I need to pay and I am too tired to check my email for the bill which is also password protected which is of no use. And its saying unable to process your request like always. 

Now i was irritated by this stuff i went ahead by again going back to home page and this time i chose pay bill hoping that may be there i would get to know the bill amount. And holy shit, this site is so fucked up that they shown me my saved card details but nothing abt the bill amt. I was like how a big network like Airtel have such a crap website for payment.

Buy this time I got an idea that this website don't have any data... so i started checking there other links. And yes they having nothing to show. I went ahead to check my payment history and i got below screen. 

And i was like... i  knew this... i got its behavior correctly. Many thoughts came to my minds at that time like not to pay my bill and wait for the the time to call me for paying my bills , or call their customer support and rebuke them like anything but then i realized that wrong that support people have done its their IT team who cooked this bitter website. I thought to change my network asap. And ended up with this blog. Later on i found same kind of anger among people on consumers complaint forums. And till now these morons haven't taken any step to improve the customer experience.

Thanks for reading my pathetic experience with airtel website...